I've been Ghosted online - why it hurts and what you can do about it. »

> I’ve been Ghosted online – why it hurts and what you can do about it.

Ghosting getting you down?


I've been ghosted online and I know the pains of modern dating in London - it’s what drove us to create a dating experience which is focussed on enabling you to find quality connections. Whether it’s the lack of photos, fake profiles or something else - ghosting is a common pain across all of the dating apps and websites. It’s a behaviour which can make anyone feel sour.


If you’ve been ghosted, like I've been ghosted online you can understand the pain of finding a good connection and feeling digital chemistry only to find that your digital data is silent. You send a few messages more but get no answer. You start to feel stressed and wonder what you did wrong? In this blog, we want to reassure you that ghosting isn’t something you should take personally - although it can be easy to feel like you’re not enough, something else is happening behind the scenes. 


Many dating apps are built to trigger addictive behaviour, which creates a desire to engage with more profiles (and create new matches). The digital dating cycle triggers the brain reward centre, so more matches and connections make us feel good for a moment. This instant validation, is a chemical reaction in the brain and many users of dating apps are actually hooked on finding new matches, more than actually meeting anyone in real life.


Do you use dating apps like Tinder just to get that good feeling when a new match appears? Do you ghost people when the conversation starts? Well, perhaps this could be the reason why. Being aware of the drive behind this behaviour could help you become a better digital dating partner, being aware of the feelings.

Test your dating IQ - https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a25471506/ghosting-iq/


This doesn’t answer all of the ghosting behaviour - there are of course people genuinely looking for new connections but don’t know what to say or people don’t define expectations, but we’ll cover these challenges for another blog. Just be aware, that much of the ghosting you experience will be simply, somebody chasing another digital dating high and not because you said or did anything wrong. 


At L’Elite, we understand ghosting can hurt. That’s why our mission is to develop an experience which aims to connect people in real life, where real chemistry can happen. If you’re frustrated with getting stuck in the chatbox or swiping for new matches then give us a try on iOS or Android.